I got insulted today, very insulted. The jist of the situation was that I got called ignorant and a racist. I had made a comment on a message board, first questioning whether someone was Jewish or not (I really didn't know), and second stating that I don't like the double standard that our society has as far as things like the "N" word. I don't feel that one group should be able to use them, and another shouldn't. NOBODY should be using these derogatory terms. So, that's where I stood on that.
After making those statements, I was basically attacked by the author of the post, who called me ignorant and racist. I take great, great issue with this. I am the farthest thing from those things.
Enough of the rehash. What I learned from this was that even when someone doesn't agree with you, even when they have their facts way wrong, even when they try to embarrass you and even when they refuse to even see another side to their own, a person must step back and take the situation for what it is.
I admit I was so very hurt to begin with, the shock rang through my body at being told what my statements meant, even when they didn't mean what someone interpreted them to say. After stepping away from that part of the conversaton, I began to see that this was a person upset about something else that had occurred and that I may have become the punching bag for her frustration with her situation.
Just like we take things out on people when we shouldn't and when they don't deserve it, we still do it. I am the type of person who likes to see the positive side of things, who likes to get something good out of every situation, even really shitty ones. This one is no different, from now on, I'm sure to choose my words very carefully, and give everyone the benefit of the doubt and a chance to explain themselves before I judge. See, there it is - lemonade...
Thoughts From The Wells
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Finding time
I haven't found time lately to blog, and that really makes me sad. I enjoy blogging and find it cathartic, but with the nice weather we've been having, and a new commitment I made to myself and my kids, I have been spending every waking moment with them on long walks and playing in the backyard. It's not that I'm on the internet all hours of the day, but for sure there are times when I'm telling them "just wait until Mommy is done her 'work' on the computer". I am coming to the realization that they really are growing up so quickly (what they say is true) and I don't want to look back thinking that all I did was spend my time with them playing on the computer (or whatever I was doing). Guilt will do that to you.
As I am typing this, I am in the living room with my son, who is watching tv and playing, and we're waiting for little girl to wake up. Hypocritical, no? Maybe, but I am playing with him, too, causing me to take 3 times as long to get this post out. But, I don't mind being interrupted.
After spending so much of my time with the kids everyday (and, well, I should be - I'm a stay at home Mom!), I've gotten to thinking about what is fair in my "me time" expectations. Really, is it fair to ask for a little time for myself during the day, obviously not when they "need" me, but maybe if they are watching a show, doing a puzzle or playing cars? I know everyone does it, but does everyone feel a little guilty like I do? Do you ever feel like you're taking something away from your kids because you are doing something for yourself?
I've been told that is the joy of motherhood - a permanent, entrenched feeling of guilt. At all times. Mostly self inflicted, but there regardless.
I'm off to play with my kids - it's a beautiful day out there!
As I am typing this, I am in the living room with my son, who is watching tv and playing, and we're waiting for little girl to wake up. Hypocritical, no? Maybe, but I am playing with him, too, causing me to take 3 times as long to get this post out. But, I don't mind being interrupted.
After spending so much of my time with the kids everyday (and, well, I should be - I'm a stay at home Mom!), I've gotten to thinking about what is fair in my "me time" expectations. Really, is it fair to ask for a little time for myself during the day, obviously not when they "need" me, but maybe if they are watching a show, doing a puzzle or playing cars? I know everyone does it, but does everyone feel a little guilty like I do? Do you ever feel like you're taking something away from your kids because you are doing something for yourself?
I've been told that is the joy of motherhood - a permanent, entrenched feeling of guilt. At all times. Mostly self inflicted, but there regardless.
I'm off to play with my kids - it's a beautiful day out there!
Monday, April 26, 2010
37 Things I Know
Since I turned 37 last month, I thought I would post 37 things I know - whether it is about me or just life experiences. I love reading getting to know you posts, and thought this would be a great way to have you know me a little better.
1. I am a middle child - and don't seem to have as much of an issue about it as a lot of people do.
2. I chewed my fingernails as a child, and was told by a family friend that "no boy will ever like you if you keep doing that". It crushed my ego, and apparently still has an effect to this day if I still remember that.
3. I love cats, grew up with cats, but lost the "animal love of my life" in my dog, who was 13, a year and a half ago.
4. I married at 23, and was told by a few that maybe we should wait. We are both type A personalities, so listening to anyone's opinions wasn't an option. We will celebrate our 14th anniversary this year.
5. I am quick to judge, quick to speak and slow to listen at times.
6. I am outgoing most of the time, but don't like to go out. I prefer to stay home with my family.
7. We struggled to have a family for almost 9 years, and 2 months before our 10th anniversary, I gave birth to our daughter.
8. I always took for granted I would have kids no problem. I'm used to getting my way, so having to wait 9 years was a crushing blow.
9. I think I would die without my kids.
10. I love sports, and hate going to people's houses to watch games because I'm usually expected to hang out with the wives, none of who likes sports. I hate to miss a game.
11. I love chocolate, almost to a fault.
12. I am blunt, almost to a fault.
13. I love my coffee in the morning, and drank it (with caffiene) during both of my pregnancies.
14. I don't have a lot of really close friends, but the few that I do, I would do anything for.
15. I think child abusers will never be rehabilitated.
16. My husband is one of the most open men I know, and the best Dad for our kids that I could ever imagine - he is way too much fun!
17. I love the Biggest Loser.
18. I hate fighting with someone, as I always say the wrong thing, it's taken the wrong way, making it very easy to use against me. I'm not a quick thinker that way.
19. I need to have more patience.
20. I wish I would have gone to Europe when I had the chance as a young adult.
21. I am against the death penalty, until someone does something serious to someone I love.
22. I regret not finishing my university degree.
23. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
24. I sometimes have a hard time allowing myself to be happy.
25. I am more my father's daughter than I probably realize.
26. If I had to do it all over again, I would marry my husband again, in a heartbeat.
27. If I had to do it all over again, I would have said no to that first cigarette.
28. I get hungover after 2 drinks.
29. I don't sleep as much as I should, I value my "me" time at night when the kids are in bed, and just can't bring myself to go to bed early.
30. I don't eat breakfast most days.
31. I hate most horror movies, I can't stand feeling uneasy for 2 hours, but I watch them because my husband is scared to watch them alone.
32. I would love to find something to do at home to make more money, but haven't found the right thing, yet.
33. I judge people, although I try not to. I also have a lot of compassion for people.
34. I wish I had more time and imagination to write in my blog.
35. I am not a housewife, I am a stay at home Mom.
36. I appreciate how hard my husband works probably more than I let him know.
37. I never could have predicted how my life would go, but through the ups and downs, I wouldn't change a thing. The most important things in the world to me are my husband, my daughter and my son. I would be rich if that's all I had!
1. I am a middle child - and don't seem to have as much of an issue about it as a lot of people do.
2. I chewed my fingernails as a child, and was told by a family friend that "no boy will ever like you if you keep doing that". It crushed my ego, and apparently still has an effect to this day if I still remember that.
3. I love cats, grew up with cats, but lost the "animal love of my life" in my dog, who was 13, a year and a half ago.
4. I married at 23, and was told by a few that maybe we should wait. We are both type A personalities, so listening to anyone's opinions wasn't an option. We will celebrate our 14th anniversary this year.
5. I am quick to judge, quick to speak and slow to listen at times.
6. I am outgoing most of the time, but don't like to go out. I prefer to stay home with my family.
7. We struggled to have a family for almost 9 years, and 2 months before our 10th anniversary, I gave birth to our daughter.
8. I always took for granted I would have kids no problem. I'm used to getting my way, so having to wait 9 years was a crushing blow.
9. I think I would die without my kids.
10. I love sports, and hate going to people's houses to watch games because I'm usually expected to hang out with the wives, none of who likes sports. I hate to miss a game.
11. I love chocolate, almost to a fault.
12. I am blunt, almost to a fault.
13. I love my coffee in the morning, and drank it (with caffiene) during both of my pregnancies.
14. I don't have a lot of really close friends, but the few that I do, I would do anything for.
15. I think child abusers will never be rehabilitated.
16. My husband is one of the most open men I know, and the best Dad for our kids that I could ever imagine - he is way too much fun!
17. I love the Biggest Loser.
18. I hate fighting with someone, as I always say the wrong thing, it's taken the wrong way, making it very easy to use against me. I'm not a quick thinker that way.
19. I need to have more patience.
20. I wish I would have gone to Europe when I had the chance as a young adult.
21. I am against the death penalty, until someone does something serious to someone I love.
22. I regret not finishing my university degree.
23. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
24. I sometimes have a hard time allowing myself to be happy.
25. I am more my father's daughter than I probably realize.
26. If I had to do it all over again, I would marry my husband again, in a heartbeat.
27. If I had to do it all over again, I would have said no to that first cigarette.
28. I get hungover after 2 drinks.
29. I don't sleep as much as I should, I value my "me" time at night when the kids are in bed, and just can't bring myself to go to bed early.
30. I don't eat breakfast most days.
31. I hate most horror movies, I can't stand feeling uneasy for 2 hours, but I watch them because my husband is scared to watch them alone.
32. I would love to find something to do at home to make more money, but haven't found the right thing, yet.
33. I judge people, although I try not to. I also have a lot of compassion for people.
34. I wish I had more time and imagination to write in my blog.
35. I am not a housewife, I am a stay at home Mom.
36. I appreciate how hard my husband works probably more than I let him know.
37. I never could have predicted how my life would go, but through the ups and downs, I wouldn't change a thing. The most important things in the world to me are my husband, my daughter and my son. I would be rich if that's all I had!
Friday, April 16, 2010
This is my second shot at Five Question Friday, courtesy of Mama M. over at My Little Life.
Here goes:
1. What words do you use on your blog/online that you don't use in real life?
I don't really use any words on my blog that I wouldn't use in real life, it's really the opposite. I swear like a sailor that needs her mouth washed out with soap somwtimes, and I would never put those words to paper (or my blog, as it were). I'm fully aware that my potty mouth is not that attractive most days.
2. Do you still write checks?
Yes, I still write a lot of cheques. I just can't justify taking money out of an ATM and paying them $3 or whatever it is to access MY money.
3. Who was your favorite President and why?
Well, being Canadian, I really don't have a favorite president, although I have to say I admire a lot of them.
4. Are you a yeller?
Oh, my, yes. Bigtime. So much so, I'm sure when we moved into this new town, I alone raised the decible level a few notches. Okay, not quite that bad, but I am definitely the "Type A, need to have it my way, come from a loud family, should have been Italian" yeller
5. Have you ever dumpster dived?
Nope. Not even sure what that is, but sounds disgusting. I've done some other gross stuff, but not this one.
If you would like to take part, copy this button, give a shout out to Mama M. and show us your five answers!
Death, Taxes and Crumbs
There are a few things are inevitable in life. Some are great and wonderful, some suck rocks. (There's a phrase I haven't used since I was 8) Anyhow, obviously death sucks. I mean, to the point that I find myself thinking about it so much sometimes that my palms start to sweat. Don't think I'm not normal or anything, this really has only started since I had kids, and hate the thought of leaving them alone in this world. Okay, that's enough on death, my keyboard is getting wet...
And then there is taxes. While having someone take a large percentage of money right off the top of your paycheck sucks, and I don't trust most politicians as far as I can throw them overboard, I do believe they are a necessary evil. Here in Canada, we have a wonderful quality of life. Education, health care, infrastructure, I could go on and on. These services are provided by our (sometimes) decent government through the taxes we pay. And let me tell you, most years I love tax time (we usually get a refund), I just hate having to get them done. That's the lazy person in me coming out.
Finally, there are crumbs. One of my biggest pet peeves is walking barefoot on a crumby floor. And believe me, with a 2 year old and a 3 year old runningthe show around here, there are a ton of crumbs. Just their presence (the crumbs, not the kids) has amped up my OCD when it comes to cleaning my floors. It's gotten so bad, that when I enter the kitchen, I instinctively reach for the broom. Now that we are living in a townhouse (provided by hubby's work) without central vac (oh how I miss my central vac), I can no longer whip the vacuum around the floors a few times a day like I used to. Oh, how I hate, hate, hate crumby floors!!
But, it's not like they'll be the death of me - and even if they are, at least I won't have to pay taxes.
And then there is taxes. While having someone take a large percentage of money right off the top of your paycheck sucks, and I don't trust most politicians as far as I can throw them overboard, I do believe they are a necessary evil. Here in Canada, we have a wonderful quality of life. Education, health care, infrastructure, I could go on and on. These services are provided by our (sometimes) decent government through the taxes we pay. And let me tell you, most years I love tax time (we usually get a refund), I just hate having to get them done. That's the lazy person in me coming out.
Finally, there are crumbs. One of my biggest pet peeves is walking barefoot on a crumby floor. And believe me, with a 2 year old and a 3 year old running
But, it's not like they'll be the death of me - and even if they are, at least I won't have to pay taxes.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
What holiday??
Okay, so, without sounding ungrateful for a whole month off (actually a 5 weeks), to say the "vacation" we took home really wasn't that much of a holiday. We moved way up north last August, and this was the first time we went home. We were excited, needing a break, and wanting to see friends and family.
Well, the first week or so was great, spent by Dan and I in the Bahamas, although the weather could have been much better, it beat the extreme cold of the north. When we got home, we went to his parent's for a few days, then to his sister's for a few days, back to the parent's for a few days, I went to visit my sister for a few days, and then to my parent's for a little more than a week. After that it was back to his parent's to stay overnight before catching our flight out, over night in Edmonton and then home. I packed and unpacked suitcases 8 times, and we changed beds 8 times over the course of the month. Add to that our days were filled with visiting friends and family (my Mom had 35 of our closest relatives for Easter dinner), running to doctor and dentist appointments, and all of the shopping we had to do for supplies that we can't get here or are much too expensive.
Again, not to complain, but we really needed to get home so we could have a rest. I think when we go home again, we will do it differently - we'll spend 2 weeks at each of our parent's houses and if people want to see us, they can come to where we are. Bottom line. There were people we didn't get a chance to see, but we did what we could do.
Whew. I'm tired just reading this over. Who calls it a holiday anyway? Now, I'm off to relax and do laundry (yes, that is what I call relaxing these days!!)
Well, the first week or so was great, spent by Dan and I in the Bahamas, although the weather could have been much better, it beat the extreme cold of the north. When we got home, we went to his parent's for a few days, then to his sister's for a few days, back to the parent's for a few days, I went to visit my sister for a few days, and then to my parent's for a little more than a week. After that it was back to his parent's to stay overnight before catching our flight out, over night in Edmonton and then home. I packed and unpacked suitcases 8 times, and we changed beds 8 times over the course of the month. Add to that our days were filled with visiting friends and family (my Mom had 35 of our closest relatives for Easter dinner), running to doctor and dentist appointments, and all of the shopping we had to do for supplies that we can't get here or are much too expensive.
Again, not to complain, but we really needed to get home so we could have a rest. I think when we go home again, we will do it differently - we'll spend 2 weeks at each of our parent's houses and if people want to see us, they can come to where we are. Bottom line. There were people we didn't get a chance to see, but we did what we could do.
Whew. I'm tired just reading this over. Who calls it a holiday anyway? Now, I'm off to relax and do laundry (yes, that is what I call relaxing these days!!)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Missing My Blog
We've been away on holidays for a month now, and I haven't had time to post on my blog. I miss it. A lot. We have been running around like chickens with our heads cut off for the last little while, trying to see everyone that it seems we've ever met in our lives, and we're ready to go home. And I'm ready to resume my blog, big time! So many things going through my head, so little typing. But that will change soon.
One thought I had in my mind today was, who gives a 1 year old a hard, huge sucker?? Well, my 1 year old has a sticky face, so someone did...and that someone was his doctor. Really. I just about fell over, but that is probably just me being the overprotectivemychildwillchokehowdidweeversurvivechildhood Mom that I am. I worked hard for these kids, I intend to keep them around...
*eye roll*
One thought I had in my mind today was, who gives a 1 year old a hard, huge sucker?? Well, my 1 year old has a sticky face, so someone did...and that someone was his doctor. Really. I just about fell over, but that is probably just me being the overprotectivemychildwillchokehowdidweeversurvivechildhood Mom that I am. I worked hard for these kids, I intend to keep them around...
*eye roll*
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