Thoughts From The Wells

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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Judgement and Lemonade

I got insulted today, very insulted. The jist of the situation was that I got called ignorant and a racist. I had made a comment on a message board, first questioning whether someone was Jewish or not (I really didn't know), and second stating that I don't like the double standard that our society has as far as things like the "N" word. I don't feel that one group should be able to use them, and another shouldn't. NOBODY should be using these derogatory terms. So, that's where I stood on that.

After making those statements, I was basically attacked by the author of the post, who called me ignorant and racist. I take great, great issue with this. I am the farthest thing from those things.

Enough of the rehash. What I learned from this was that even when someone doesn't agree with you, even when they have their facts way wrong, even when they try to embarrass you and even when they refuse to even see another side to their own, a person must step back and take the situation for what it is.

I admit I was so very hurt to begin with, the shock rang through my body at being told what my statements meant, even when they didn't mean what someone interpreted them to say. After stepping away from that part of the conversaton, I began to see that this was a person upset about something else that had occurred and that I may have become the punching bag for her frustration with her situation.

Just like we take things out on people when we shouldn't and when they don't deserve it, we still do it. I am the type of person who likes to see the positive side of things, who likes to get something good out of every situation, even really shitty ones. This one is no different, from now on, I'm sure to choose my words very carefully, and give everyone the benefit of the doubt and a chance to explain themselves before I judge. See, there it is - lemonade...


Kelly said...

I agree with you...bring on the lemonade, with extra suger, and perhaps a sprig of mint!
Sometimes we need even a touch of vodka....maybe raspberry flavoured, yummmmm

Claire said...

Oh yes, bring on the vodka too! mmmmmmm, mint sounds yummy! I'd have a drink with you anyday Kelly!!

Allison said...

Such good timing for your post...I just finished reading the aforementioned discussion and I am drinking lemonade! Thanks for bringing everything full circle!

PS: Considering the Real Housewives series is all about perpetuating stereotypes, I had thought the NJ version was about Jewish women too...although Italian Catholics in NJ are a good stereotype too. Seems like odd show for someone against intolerance to be watching, huh? ;)

S.I.F. said...

Oh Claire, SUCH a good perspective! I am so glad you could step back and realize how this clearly had nothing to do with you. It was just too much taken from too little. I hope you know that the rest of us understood what you were saying completely, so unless we are all ignorant and racist (which I really hope isn't the case!) I think you are all good!

RN Mama said...

You bring up some very good points! What I find amazing about the internet, is that it brings out the worst in some people. (I'm not referring to you) For whatever reason, people say and type things that they would never say in person. I'm glad you realize you aren't any of the things that person said, and that you were able to see the glass as half full...of lemonade.

Holly Renee said...

Great way of turning it around. You are so right though, you didn't say anything wrong. She was just very upset over something else. I am glad that discussion hasn't deterred you. I am happy I came here and read this post. You are amazing!