If I Had A Nickel For Every Time I've Been Peed On...

Let's just start off by saying I knew this was going to be hard.  It was hard with my daughter, and I have no idea what I'm doing with my son. 

Potty training sucks.

I have no idea on how to train a boy.  He won't stand up and will only sit on the potty with his legs so wide apart he looks like he's training for the 2024 Olympic gymnastics team.  The one thing I do know is this: 

legs spread wide = hips being raised = peeing device being raised = ever so patient Mom, who sits on the floor singing Wiggles songs ad nauseum, gets covered in pee.

And, it usually happens 5 minutes before heading out the door.  (I may or may not have left the house with teeny tiny pee spots on my shirt this morning).  Don't judge.

I know so little about training a boy, that I've had to ask questions of my husband about what I can do and shouldn't do (I don't want to hurt the poor boy, and I am looking for what I'm missing....).  I am met with strange looks from hubby, strange enough that I want to throw a roll of toilet paper at him (or at least sit him in front of the line of fire...)

With all of this aggravation, there is still a cheer of victory every time he does pee, and the gummy bears taste oh so good!  Now with the introduction of licorice as a "poo" treat, I'm afraid potty training isn't only going to turn a few hairs white, it's going to add inches to my hips. 

But.

If I never see another diaper again, I'm willing to sacrifice my rock star hips, 'cause I'm a good Mom like that.