Finding time

I haven't found time lately to blog, and that really makes me sad. I enjoy blogging and find it cathartic, but with the nice weather we've been having, and a new commitment I made to myself and my kids, I have been spending every waking moment with them on long walks and playing in the backyard. It's not that I'm on the internet all hours of the day, but for sure there are times when I'm telling them "just wait until Mommy is done her 'work' on the computer". I am coming to the realization that they really are growing up so quickly (what they say is true) and I don't want to look back thinking that all I did was spend my time with them playing on the computer (or whatever I was doing). Guilt will do that to you.

As I am typing this, I am in the living room with my son, who is watching tv and playing, and we're waiting for little girl to wake up. Hypocritical, no? Maybe, but I am playing with him, too, causing me to take 3 times as long to get this post out. But, I don't mind being interrupted.

After spending so much of my time with the kids everyday (and, well, I should be - I'm a stay at home Mom!), I've gotten to thinking about what is fair in my "me time" expectations. Really, is it fair to ask for a little time for myself during the day, obviously not when they "need" me, but maybe if they are watching a show, doing a puzzle or playing cars? I know everyone does it, but does everyone feel a little guilty like I do? Do you ever feel like you're taking something away from your kids because you are doing something for yourself?

I've been told that is the joy of motherhood - a permanent, entrenched feeling of guilt. At all times. Mostly self inflicted, but there regardless.

I'm off to play with my kids - it's a beautiful day out there!